Brains and Brawn
Create your own Drafter story. This is what happens when the editor of the blog misses the Draft. The story must be told through your own creative energy.
Captain and Tennille generously hosted the Draft, setting the bar pretty high with 5-star hospitality ratings. Captain saddled up early to recon the route, ensuring the safety of all those to follow in his tire tracks while Tennille slaved in the kitchen to provide post-draft risotto. They may be elected permanent hosts. Register to vote now. Any other Drafter wanting to appear on the ballot should come forth now to host in the upcoming weeks.
9 Drafters suited up for the B Team. It was good to see Speedy out of her walking boot and back in cleats. Trying to restrict her movement is like asking a hummingbird to slow down its wings.
What do you surmise is happening here?
- Queenie arrives late and is distraught over losing his “Bs” but excited to create a unique B+ Team
- Duracell is claiming to have a superior riding machine (classic LeMond) and Queenie throws up his hands in defeat.
- Neither has a map. “Where the heck are we going?” Queenie exclaims. Duracell calmly points out that the B Team has the coordinates locked in, but already left the building.
- The men are discussing the next Super Tuesday concert.
7 Drafters were on tap for the A Team departure. Squirrel and Granny celebrated new helmet day. Careful not to become a matching couple, they opted for two shades of POC orange.
Action photos compliments of Skipper were forwarded to the editor.
This one strongly suggests the Bomber is Back.
I'm a biker, I'm a biker, oh, the Bomber is back
Stone-cold healthy, as a matter of fact
I can bike, I can bike 'cause I'm stronger than you
It's the way that I move, the things that I do, oh-oh-oh
Back at the ranch, a hot fire, warm risotto and cold drafts await. Belle recused herself from the Draft as her quads had a conflict of interest after her previous day 138 mile tour of Wisconsin.
The route for Monday April 18 will be Brains and Brawn, just under 28 miles with a wee bit of climbing on Braun. The extended forecast looks crummy, so be sure to check GroupMe for a cancellation (made by 4PM). The departure will return to its usual location, 5:15 and 5:30 wheels up.
RidewithGPS link: Brains and Brawn
Draft responsibly,
BrickO
Martinsville Madrina
Indecisive. That was the general attitude towards the Monday Chapel ride. Input from the entire fleet of Drafters was not solicited. Only semi-employed/semi-retired (BrickO) and tenured professors (LuLu) have time to text 9-5. Gopher was busy playing with radioactive chemistry, which sounds like a scientific facade for writing prom songs, and delegated LuLu as his proxy. Columbus forgot her phone at home and couldn’t be reached. Her beloved LuLu voted as her proxy, not realizing C on the text stream wasn't for Columbus but rather Cannibal. Clearly, tighter voting security measures need to be taken. Vintage was busy combing his mane and didn’t have a free hand to text. Captain Joe was using all his bandwidth scouring the new spring Stio catalog and placing his last-minute Hincapie Drafter gear order, a job that historically fell to Tennille. Captain took the helm upon turning 50, ordering all his own big boy clothes. Perhaps Captain should take the helm for Cannibal as well, who insists upon ordering an extra small. Jersey, that is.
Mid 40s, cloudy sky and dank air dampened enthusiasm. However, rain and snow forecasted for the remainder of the week made the conditions seem relatively delightful. 16 Drafters deemed outdoor conditions more favorable than mounting their trainers. There are only so many Netflix series one can binge responsibly.
Surly outsmarted Mother Nature, riding to the Chapel days in advance.
7 B for Bad Ass Team Drafters geared up for a Chapel ride to Antarctica. Footer was on fire with her battery powered downhill ski gloves. “I wonder if I can shift or brake with these?” Ironically, the hand surgeon was unconcerned with her digits, but protected her core wearing a puffy winter jacket (over two layers of Smartwool and a polar Hincapie jersey). Squeak was the antithesis of aerodynamic. We could almost hear David Gray singing Sail with her hood flying overhead. On that note, we did add Polar Winter jackets in the 10th Anniversary design to the Hincapie store, which is open for business this week.
Sail away with me honey
I put my heart in your hands
Sail away with me honey now, now, now
Sail away with me
What will be will be
Cujo proved to be human after all, admitting that her charge on Cannibal on the first draft left her panting for days. She has her sights set on some gnarly gravel adventures. Beware of the dog. She’s not going to stay tame for long.
9 A Team Drafters were treated once again to Vintage’s mullet and ‘stache. This classic style has earned a spot in the Drafter Facial Hair Hall of Fame (FHHF).
Dedicated wife, Thing One, spoke with with our on-site Drafter reporter about her hubby’s induction. “Hate the sin, not the sinner.” Interpret as you will. The Steve Miller Band wrote a song to play at the FHHF induction ceremony.
Some people call me the space cowboy, yeah
Some call me the gangster of love
Some people call me Vintage
'Cause I speak of the pompatus of love
I'm a spinner
I'm a grinner
I'm a lover
And I'm a sinner
I ride my bike in the sun
I'm a joker
I'm a smoker
I'm a midnight toker
I get my lovin' on the run
Ooh, whoo, ooh, whoo
Facial hair blowing in the wind, Vintage set the pace with Cannibal hanging on to the wisps of blonde locks trailing from his helmet. Adhering to the Code of Ethics, “LEAVE NO DRAFTER BEHIND”, and also grateful for an excuse to pause at the top of the Woodland Dr climb (also the location of a cemetery- happenstance?), LuLu and BrickO counted the Drafters one by one and came up with only 8. TCB confirmed he was the caboose. Knievel was amiss. Perhaps he pulled another dare devil stunt, resulting in bodily harm? A call, a text, “but there’s no reply at all” ~Genesis the book or Phil Colins, unclear. The two Drafters descended the “hillacious” crest of Woodland in search of Knievel. A short while and 3 miles later, TCB came upon a rider unfamiliar to him (TCB has missed a few drafts, busy with 3 kids under 5). “Are you Knievel?”, he inquired. The never lost was found. From this day forward, the route will be known as “Chasing the Ghost of Knievel”.
An amendment to the Drafter Code has been made: leave no drafter behind, or ahead. LuLu and BrickO practiced remedial math by counting the early to arrive green-winged teals on Balts Pond, now competent counting to 9. This is a good opportunity to remind all Drafters to text someone (preferably someone drafting) if you do an about face. Clearly, you can’t rely on a proper head count.
Chilled noses and toeses kept the post-draft draft indoors. In honor of the Chapel Ride, Booker J cracked open an Evil Twin’s Aún Más A Jesús. Booker knows thou shall not covet thy neighbor’s beer. Thou shall just open the fridge and help thy’s self. Cannibal and Octane helped thy selves to a short pour of BrickO’s Rouge Double Chocolate Stout. Little did she know that the “double” referred to the number of glasses required. More math. Urgh.
Captain and Tennille will be hosting the Draft next week. We have to take advantage of the weeks when they aren’t in Montana. Tennille proposed adding cowboy hats to the Drafter ensemble. She likes her cowboys big and strong. Captain Joe is comfortable with his stature. Cannibal retracted is XS jersey order. And Booker J started speaking Spanish like he was Don Juan in between gulps of Aún Más A Jesús.
The route for Monday, April 11 will depart from Captain and Tennille's ranch in Middleton Hills and head to Martinsville. Check GroupMe for the address and weather updates. B Team rides out at 5:15, A Team to follow at 5:30. BYOB and lawn chairs for the post-draft draft.
RidewithGPS link Martinsville Madrina
Draft responsibly,
BrickO