Tom Collins on Tap for March 29
14 Drafters showed lots of brawn, perhaps more than brains, drafting on the first official day of spring. A few sprinkles had us wondering if Captain Joe was the only one to stay dry, as he dutifully rode the course in the early afternoon to provide a full report on road conditions. The black box data indicated we were clear for take off.
The B team took a strong lead out Airport Rd, minus one. BrickO suffered a wardrobe malfunction, unable to engage her cleat due to a feisty toe cover. After several failed attempts to remove said toe cover in transit, she was grateful for a red light to remedy the situation.
Abiding by the Drafter Code of Ethics, BrickO did the shamrock shuffle at Culvers to rendezvous with Vilks, who underestimated the extra riding time from Fitchburg to the start.
There has been some recent debate on a proper description for the A Team. Cannibal offered up "FOG" to represent the Fat Old Guys, but the B Team took offense (since they can't keep up) and re-acronymized them as the Fast Old Guys. Clearly, the debate isn't about age. The newest inducted, Busch Latte, may be the most decrepit of the A Team. At the ripe old age of 28, he bailed on his teammates claiming his "legs were trashed from the weekend." Way wah wah. FOG= full of garbage.
The A team also had a member with mechanical. Booker J is the first to join the 2021 FLAT TIRE CLUB! Well done, Booker J. Adding a bit more brawn to Braun, he dropped his chain at the start of the climb. Cannibal and Blurple were already hammering for the Strava segment, so Rimshot made the Drafter sacrifice, slowly spinning up Braun to keep Booker J in sight.
Post-ride marriage counseling was in session on the back porch. LuLu & Columbus were talking excitedly about their upcoming vacation with Gopher & Badger. The topic of how many bikes to bring was broached and debated by all Drafters not going on their vacation, which further led to a debate on how many bikes one "should own". Gopher recently splurged on a gravel bike, but then responsibly passed on a new road bike, instead buying a new set of road wheels that could also function on his gravel bike. "I like being married", . Vintage stood firm on his viewpoint that "I can buy anything without asking permission from Thing 1". Struck with a the realization of the recent charge on their credit card, which prompted a fraud alert, Thing 1 said, "You are such an A$$". Turns out wheel sets, even on sale, do not go undetected. The Discover card lives up to its name.
Minutes from the marriage counseling session: We all agreed that Gopher should stay married. And, should continue to bake toffee chocolate brownies to share with the Drafters. It is good therapy. Unanimously we agreed that n+1 is the optimal number of bikes. And that Discover should not discover any bike or bike part purchases and report them to the non-purchasing spouse. Fraud alerts should be directed to the spouse making the bike purchase.
The Hincapie sizing samples arrived. Proving the ride was no brains and all brawn, we donned our shorts and jerseys after Gopher's brownies. Everybody was rethinking the dessert and beverage choices as we picked up the size we were last season. Dedicated to an upcoming race, Skipper had already completed a morning run, 30 min core workout, and observed intermittent fasting.... and he imbibed in a post-ride draft from the faucet! Vintage went straight for the XXS... for his left big toe.
Please reach out if you want to try on samples before ordering (bibs, shorts, short, long sleeve and polar jerseys, wind jacket, wind and polar vests, polar jacket). There are no returns. However, if something doesn't fit, let me know and I can usually find a Drafter with a wish list. I will send the samples back on Friday and open up the Hincapie Team Store. You will have one week to place your orders. Transactions and delivery are all handled individually. Throughout the year, you can receive 20% off all non-custom orders through https://hincapie.com/ with code SBRICKSON.
A shout out to Coach Arms and the Women's Badger Hockey Team. We fully expect Coach Arms to be back in the Draft, now that she is off the ice.
On tap for next week, March 29th is Tom Collins. Departure times for B and FOG teams are 4:30 and 5:00PM, respectively. Any changes will be noted on GroupMe.
Download map and cue sheet PDF:
GPS Link: Tom Collins
Draft responsibly,
BrickO
No Brains, All "Braun" March 15
Spring sprung early and wasn't the only green life to be appreciated on Monday. 11 Drafters found their way to the Riley Tavern on a gorgeous 60-degree day, the earliest in Drafter history for an inaugural ride.
The B Team departed at 4PM, with some interesting looking bicycles. Vintage brought a beast of the same name while Speedy wheeled up on her Grandmother's "grocery bike", having dismantled the basket earlier in the day. The warm weather caught us all off guard. Speedy, being of shorter stature, simply couldn't reach her LaMond hanging in the garage since November. Resourceful, although I do hope Grandma wasn't looking to go shopping Monday evening.
The A Team rode with a bit more vigor, discussing Strava segments and pace line strategies. It seems Cannibal gained more power and lost more mass over the winter (highly irritating for those of us who thought the pandemic could be mitigated with Netflix, pizza and Imperial Stouts), leading the small A team paceline without regard for rotation. Blurple commented, "Ya know. We could go a lot faster if you went a little slower on occasion." Rimshot had a strong start to the Drafter season, remembering to bring beer and even offered to pay one forward to the Newbie. Granted, it was a Miller Lite, so none were surprised when the Newbie declined. Turns out, the quality of the beer wasn't the issue. The guy simply wasn't thirsty. It came out that Miller Lite is actually a step up from his Busch Latte. Welcome to the Draft.
Back at home base, we enjoyed some caloric reinforcements, compliments of Cookie and her little Monster. The snow in the backyard kept us on the porch, and we tested the safety of our new industrial outdoor patio gas heater under the wooden ceiling. Since staring the lawn on fire last year with an uncooperative and unruly fire pit, we are fully stocked with fire extinguishers for 2021. Blurple suggested we turn the gas heater into a blow torch to melt the remainder of the snow before next Monday's ride. Looking at the forecast, we might need to order more gas heaters. Or blowtorches.
Super Tuesday seems to be a jammin' day to ride, if you can't make it on Monday.
Ignoring the forecast, let's pretend that 60 degrees is here to stay and that we will Draft on Monday. The route is No Brains, All Brawn (or Braun, as the road is otherwise known). Departures: B Team 4:30; A team 5PM.
Download map and cue sheet: Brains and Brawn
A reminder that we will be ordering Hincapie kits in the next week or two. If you would like to request a sample jersey, shorts, bibs, jacket or vest to try on for size, please let me know as I will be having those mailed soon. And for all other Hincapie Sportswear orders please enjoy 20% off with code SBRICKSON.
Draft responsibly,
BrickO