Spring Valley July 27
22 Drafters faced the Beast of Barlow, including Newbie member, Yoda. Showing up to join the B Team, he remarked, "I'll try." Do. Or do not. There is no try.
Special K started the Draft armed for battle, with snacks in both holsters.
It wasn't the Beast that took Special K down. It was a broken rear derailleur cable. For her birthday last week, Special K rode a 100 mile victory lap around Devil's Lake. I guess her bike aged less gracefully than its rider.
Kermit performed his Knightly duty, sacrificing his Strava segment up Mineral Point Rd to assist Special K. Or, perhaps, he was struggling to keep up with Blurple traveling at the speed of purple light and needed an out. Unable to reconnect the rear cable, he sped off to reconnect with the A team.BrickO MacGyver'd the rear cable by fastening it to the chain stay with an extra hair tie provided by Pipes, rendering the bike safe to ride, albeit with only 2 gear options. Reluctantly, they voted unanimously to skip Braun, opting for the more downhill and direct route home on Garfoot. Special K lamented the fact between two bikes, she has a total of 3 gears and "1 good hamstring" (we had an anatomy lesson to clear up that misconception). Sounds like the Drafter version of the 12 days of Christmas... "3 working gears, 2 bicycles and a hamstring completely avulsed."Pipes redeemed her athleticism, stopping at the top of every climb for Special K without falling over. There was some mathematical debate about just how slow Special K could pedal before Pipes would tip over. Her new motto: "WHEN IN DOUBT, CLIP OUT." The A team showed up in full force. Almost. Belle got an early start, not out of fear for the Beast (although the A team could hear her gasping on Barlow as we were departing Middleton Hills), but to get home in time to open up Facebook market to sell her daughter's childhood. Anybody looking for a good deal on American Girl stuff? Duchess also left early, and was sighted in Cross Plains wearing a disguise (red jersey). Sandlot told investigative reporters that he was baiting the A team, as if they need a carrot.
Skipper had himself a Draft. Chugging up each hill in his "big ring", a 21-tooth cog, he would revive himself on the descents, fully recovered to pull Z Wrecks and Thing 1 home. He's already endured a Drafter handle change, but if you called him "The Phoenix", he would answer.
Special K started the Draft armed for battle, with snacks in both holsters.It wasn't the Beast that took Special K down. It was a broken rear derailleur cable. For her birthday last week, Special K rode a 100 mile victory lap around Devil's Lake. I guess her bike aged less gracefully than its rider.Kermit performed his Knightly duty, sacrificing his Strava segment up Mineral Point Rd to assist Special K. Or, perhaps, he was struggling to keep up with Blurple traveling at the speed of purple light and needed an out. Unable to reconnect the rear cable, he sped off to reconnect with the A team.BrickO MacGyver'd the rear cable by fastening it to the chain stay with an extra hair tie provided by Pipes, rendering the bike safe to ride, albeit with only 2 gear options. Reluctantly, they voted unanimously to skip Braun, opting for the more downhill and direct route home on Garfoot. Special K lamented the fact between two bikes, she has a total of 3 gears and "1 good hamstring" (we had an anatomy lesson to clear up that misconception). Sounds like the Drafter version of the 12 days of Christmas... "3 working gears, 2 bicycles and a hamstring completely avulsed."Pipes redeemed her athleticism, stopping at the top of every climb for Special K without falling over. There was some mathematical debate about just how slow Special K could pedal before Pipes would tip over. Her new motto: "WHEN IN DOUBT, CLIP OUT." The A team showed up in full force. Almost. Belle got an early start, not out of fear for the Beast (although the A team could hear her gasping on Barlow as we were departing Middleton Hills), but to get home in time to open up Facebook market to sell her daughter's childhood. Anybody looking for a good deal on American Girl stuff? Duchess also left early, and was sighted in Cross Plains wearing a disguise (red jersey). Sandlot told investigative reporters that he was baiting the A team, as if they need a carrot.Skipper had himself a Draft. Chugging up each hill in his "big ring", a 21-tooth cog, he would revive himself on the descents, fully recovered to pull Z Wrecks and Thing 1 home. He's already endured a Drafter handle change, but if you called him "The Phoenix", he would answer.
Apologies to the Polish Moon riders: beer, coffee and swag were feloniously but inadvertently withheld. Bad BrickO. Next time, remind me. Or just take them from the dining room table. Shirts should arrive soon.Next week will be a classic, an all-around favorite: the Spring Valley Loop. Rumor has it that Booker J and Slow Cow will make an appearance. Wheels up at 5PM from CAPTAIN JOE'S HOUSE at Apprentice Place in Middleton Hills. Check GroupMe for the address. Pizza to follow, bring beer and lawn chairs per routine.Garmin Link (this is from Glacier Ridge, not Apprentice Place, but Garmin will find it: Spring Valley LoopRidewithGPS Link: Spring Valley Loop from Captain Joe'sDownload map and cue sheet: Spring Valley Loop from Captain Joe'sDraft responsibly,BrickO
Beast of Barlow July 20
A tribute to the Moody Blues, Nights in White Satin."Knights" in Green JerseysKnights in green jerseysPedalin’ to reach the endBlog posts I’ve writtenNever meaning to sendClimbs I’d always missedWith these quads beforeJust what the elevation isI can’t say anymore‘Cause I love themOh how I love themKnights in green jerseysNever reaching the endBlog posts I’ve writtenNever meaning to sendClimbs I’d always missedWith these quads beforeJust what the elevation isI can’t say anymore‘Cause I love themYes I love themOh how I love them18 Drafters rocked Roxbury, technically 20 as Sandlot and Duchess pre-road the course. Some people have to be on the front lines Monday at 5PM. Thanks for keeping us safe, Drafter knights in white coats.
The ride in the holler' including one newbie, Derby, as in roller derby. With the first annual Funtathalon only weeks away, skaters are honing their skills to compete with this 1980's roller phenom. She's no slouch on a bike, either. Dark Knight was hanging on by a thread.
Cannibal took the week to review the Drafter's Code of Ethics, drafted by da'house staff of counselors, Billly Boy, Queen Bee and Special K. Bylaw 3.4.26-7.891/2 clearly states that "No Drafter should knowlingly be left behind with a mechanical failure, unless that failure is a direct result of failure to procure maintenance of his or her machine." ** Please refer to cases 06.16.14 Drone Master vs. Frequency of Bike Tire Inflation; and 06.17.19 Pipes vs. Missing Front Wheel. It is the responsibility of all fellow Drafters to render assistance. Failure to help with a failure is grounds for dismissal. So when Cannibal came across this wounded Drafter, he slowed his pace before the descent on Dunlap Hollow to holler, "You don't need any help, right?" His sins have been washed. Knightood bestowed.
When the 2 time Olympian was asked how the tip over occured, Footer confessed to giving Pipes a friendly shove. "I won't be last," she uttered under her breathless breath. And that's how gold is won.The B team (B for Bad Ass or maybe bruised ass) was testing out the emergency broadcast system well before Pipes needed first aid. Speedy inadvertently butt-dialed Slinger's wife 3 times while cycling on Schneider. Sending out an SOS, sending out an SOS. 
Today Speedy is sending out for cake and a few dozen candles. HAPPY BIRTHDAY to Speedy and Special K. 
With the southerly wind pushing the pace, the lead pack was in Roxbury in no time flat. And without any flats, Rimshot earned his Knighthood by providing draft protection for Cannibal, Bomber, Captain Joe, Skipper, Kermit and Thing One. Knighthood was short lived. At least 2 infractions of bylaw 3.4.6 1/3.8889 were cited: 1) Skipper was dropped on Katezenbuechel and 2) BrickO shortly thereafter in Roxbury when she paused to text the B Team with a construction update. Nobody paused.
The most serious infraction was 3) Rimshot brought a voracious thirst, but no post-ride beverages. A unanimous vote by the Drafter Board of Rejects has put him on probation.Left behind to face the now unfriendly southerly wind, with no hope of catching a draft, BrickO's spirits were dampened. But then aKnight in a green jersey (actually not),came back in the end,picking up BrickO,when she needed a friend.Kermit on his shining gravel bike provided draft protection until his quads failed. Not in a green jersey, but Kermit is always wearing green. If you speak Training Peaks lingo, TSS of 98 will mean something to you. The only thing higher was his wife's MCAT score of 99. Brains and brawn, well done, Thing One.
Why a gravel bike, you wonder? It is (now) a known fact that riding with a chain one link too short can and will result in carbon fiber failure of chain stays. So many mechanical lessons to learn. Here is a short documentary by Octane, depicting another lesson about spoke integrity.[wpvideo 9h9Vz44n]Octane earned his knight status by casting aside his human need for beer, as he headed back out onto the course to give the B Team a chivalrous escort home. His intentions may not have been pure, as rumor of Speedy's freshly baked peanut butter cookies were spreading throughout the Draft. Belle was first to claim that prize, and claimed more than one. Both have been put on probation: Speedy for not baking enough for everyone and Belle for making sure there was a shortage, regardless.The backyard was filled with knights in green jerseys, along with a cameo appearance by Nurse Sully. She is a founding member, most senior in membership and otherwise.
One of many beautiful Drafter attributes is members that fill each and every age group.
HINCAPIE UPDATE: FedEx packages arrive tomorrow. Be sure to allow indirect signature if you won't be at home. LAST CHANCE to order: store closes Sun July 19 at midnight. Hincapie Store linkNext week we will visit the Beast of Barlow, only 34 miles but will seem longer. ** Descend cautiously on Garfoot to prepare for tight, unnatural left turn onto Braun. Departure 5PM from Glacier Ridge Rd. Pizza to follow. PLEASE BRING YOUR OWN BEER (Rimshot) and LAWNCHAIRS so we can socially distance responsibly. For those 18 Drafters who participated in the Bike Fed Polish Moon ride, there will be beer (and hopefully coffee arriving soon) and some swag to enjoy.
The ride in the holler' including one newbie, Derby, as in roller derby. With the first annual Funtathalon only weeks away, skaters are honing their skills to compete with this 1980's roller phenom. She's no slouch on a bike, either. Dark Knight was hanging on by a thread.Cannibal took the week to review the Drafter's Code of Ethics, drafted by da'house staff of counselors, Billly Boy, Queen Bee and Special K. Bylaw 3.4.26-7.891/2 clearly states that "No Drafter should knowlingly be left behind with a mechanical failure, unless that failure is a direct result of failure to procure maintenance of his or her machine." ** Please refer to cases 06.16.14 Drone Master vs. Frequency of Bike Tire Inflation; and 06.17.19 Pipes vs. Missing Front Wheel. It is the responsibility of all fellow Drafters to render assistance. Failure to help with a failure is grounds for dismissal. So when Cannibal came across this wounded Drafter, he slowed his pace before the descent on Dunlap Hollow to holler, "You don't need any help, right?" His sins have been washed. Knightood bestowed.When the 2 time Olympian was asked how the tip over occured, Footer confessed to giving Pipes a friendly shove. "I won't be last," she uttered under her breathless breath. And that's how gold is won.The B team (B for Bad Ass or maybe bruised ass) was testing out the emergency broadcast system well before Pipes needed first aid. Speedy inadvertently butt-dialed Slinger's wife 3 times while cycling on Schneider. Sending out an SOS, sending out an SOS. Today Speedy is sending out for cake and a few dozen candles. HAPPY BIRTHDAY to Speedy and Special K. With the southerly wind pushing the pace, the lead pack was in Roxbury in no time flat. And without any flats, Rimshot earned his Knighthood by providing draft protection for Cannibal, Bomber, Captain Joe, Skipper, Kermit and Thing One. Knighthood was short lived. At least 2 infractions of bylaw 3.4.6 1/3.8889 were cited: 1) Skipper was dropped on Katezenbuechel and 2) BrickO shortly thereafter in Roxbury when she paused to text the B Team with a construction update. Nobody paused.The most serious infraction was 3) Rimshot brought a voracious thirst, but no post-ride beverages. A unanimous vote by the Drafter Board of Rejects has put him on probation.Left behind to face the now unfriendly southerly wind, with no hope of catching a draft, BrickO's spirits were dampened. But then aKnight in a green jersey (actually not),came back in the end,picking up BrickO,when she needed a friend.Kermit on his shining gravel bike provided draft protection until his quads failed. Not in a green jersey, but Kermit is always wearing green. If you speak Training Peaks lingo, TSS of 98 will mean something to you. The only thing higher was his wife's MCAT score of 99. Brains and brawn, well done, Thing One.Why a gravel bike, you wonder? It is (now) a known fact that riding with a chain one link too short can and will result in carbon fiber failure of chain stays. So many mechanical lessons to learn. Here is a short documentary by Octane, depicting another lesson about spoke integrity.[wpvideo 9h9Vz44n]Octane earned his knight status by casting aside his human need for beer, as he headed back out onto the course to give the B Team a chivalrous escort home. His intentions may not have been pure, as rumor of Speedy's freshly baked peanut butter cookies were spreading throughout the Draft. Belle was first to claim that prize, and claimed more than one. Both have been put on probation: Speedy for not baking enough for everyone and Belle for making sure there was a shortage, regardless.The backyard was filled with knights in green jerseys, along with a cameo appearance by Nurse Sully. She is a founding member, most senior in membership and otherwise.One of many beautiful Drafter attributes is members that fill each and every age group.HINCAPIE UPDATE: FedEx packages arrive tomorrow. Be sure to allow indirect signature if you won't be at home. LAST CHANCE to order: store closes Sun July 19 at midnight. Hincapie Store linkNext week we will visit the Beast of Barlow, only 34 miles but will seem longer. ** Descend cautiously on Garfoot to prepare for tight, unnatural left turn onto Braun. Departure 5PM from Glacier Ridge Rd. Pizza to follow. PLEASE BRING YOUR OWN BEER (Rimshot) and LAWNCHAIRS so we can socially distance responsibly. For those 18 Drafters who participated in the Bike Fed Polish Moon ride, there will be beer (and hopefully coffee arriving soon) and some swag to enjoy.
