Rock the Gibraltar Memorial Day Ride 2PM
So this is what the morning after going to Church feels like? Or maybe it was the combination of 2171 feet of climb (Garmins varied, but unanimously agree over 2000') in 38.3 miles and the 11% Evil Twin beer I selected to re-hyrdrate? Misery loves company, and we had a 2019 record attendance of 20 Drafters going to Church. Our all time high (Drafters, not elevation) was the final ride in Sept 2019, so we are on track to surpass that number.
We managed to depart on time, despite our Newbie needing a Pit Stop before the ride began. Slow Meandering Cow gave us the go ahead to leave him behind. "I do my own thing anyway", he sighed. Slow Cow blew a spoke on his way to Church. A sign? His wife thinks so, as she found the receipt for his most recent trip to Cronometro. Having a clandestine affair with one's bike is tricky business.Evel Knievel was raring to ride. With is most recent hematoma healed, he was eyeing up Tobacco City Boy's new redneck truck to jump over. Sandlot led the Draft out Airport Rd until being foiled by a red light. She doesn't ofter much Draft protection size wise, but her competitiveness is nothing to mess with. Just ask her about husband Duchess' claim to have "caught up" at the rest stop of their last event. Waiting for and being caught up to are sort of the same, unless you are competitive.Cannibal wasted no time expending energy and broke out the Clif Shots 27 minutes into the ride. When you have your power to mass ratio dialed in like Cannibal, you don't want to run low on fuel. We picked up a stray on KP, a kickass commuter named Jason, who was on his way home to Mount Horeb. Cannibal was eyeing up his saddle bags for food. I'm not sure which is more humbling- a commuter with saddle bags or Bomber on his gravel bike with 38mm white tires as they scream past. B2 Bomber ages up this week and I doubt it will slow him down. HAPPY BIRTHDAY BOMBER.Knievel and Pit Stop opted to skip Church, riding the shorter No Brains All Brawn route. I got a text from Knievel asking what was taking so long- he was on his second beer and unsure if he could hold out long enough to see us return to the Free House. Han Solo had been riding with these two renegades, but felt compelled to go to Church. Half way there, he confessed he had made a bad choice. That climb is not for the faint of heart. He wasn't the only one complaining. The power couple, Vintage and Thing 1, were vying for best excuses as we approached the final climb on Airport Road. "My bars are so sticky", proclaimed Vintage to which Thing 1 countered, "My seat is too low- I keep slipping off". I generously offered a solution, which was to put Vintage's bar tape on his wife's seat. Marriage counseling could be my next gig.Speaking of marriage counseling, I might need a referral as I left Z Rex behind to deal with 2 flat tires. "For better or worse, unless it is a flat tire, and then I'm out". I didn't leave him alone intentionally.... and he wasn't alone. I got a lovely text from Speedy letting me know that 6 Drafters were helping him change not one, but two flat tires. We have our first FLAT TIRE CLUB contestant. Bomber was the reigning champion in 2017, and Skipper went home with the trophy in 2018.
Mechanical failures were not limited to flat tires. My new bargain barrel Pearl Izumi 3/4 tights left much to be desired, especially for those Drafting directly behind me. Apparently, the 3/4 referred not only to leg length. Good thing I had a jersey with a little extra length to bridge the gap. I was catching a Draft, but not the kind we boast of. In the upper wardrobe failures, Speedy's arm warmers functioned like wrist warmers. I guess she could donate them to Pipes or Arms? C-Monster had a mismatched pair of gloves, with one cycling and one XC skiing. Functional, but not pretty. Which reminds me to remind you, if you want to look pretty, Drafter gear is available.DRAFTER CYCLING CLOTHING ORDER DUE MAY 26. Here's the link: Hincapie Custom StoreThe Free House was our sanctuary after going to Church. Speedy didn't have a free hand to drink, as she was preoccupied massaging her cramping thighs and walking around like Shaggy from Scooby Doo. Pipes was euphoric (suffering is her spiritual release) and regaled stories of her positive snot sign. TCB was simply catatonic. Maybe it was the stress of envisioning Knievel jumping over his new truck, but I think it was the 2000+ feet of climb.Nobody was suffering enough to pass up the opportunity to ride 50 miles next week. Bare Footer said her commitment is weather dependent- if the sun is shining and the wind isn't blowing, she'll be bare footin'. Pipes and Speedy, in their respective states of dehydration and cramping, misheard her say "If it's nice, I'll be getting laid." Oh my.Pending weather, we will ride at 2PM for the Rock of Gibraltar. Stay tuned for a time change if the AM looks better for riding than the PM. The Free House is closed, so we will have refreshments at Longtable or skip group therapy, based on interest. If you have a Vintage Drafter jersey from Voler, this Memorial Day ride is the one to sport it.
PDF Rock of Gibralter map to download: Rock of Gibraltar 50Garmin link (from my house but close enough to Free House): Rock of GibraltarDraft responsibly,BrickO
May 20: Take Me To (Vermont) Church
Lyrics by CCR Just about a year agoI set out on the roadSeekin' my fame and fortuneLookin' for a pot of goldThing got bad things got worseI guess you will know the tuneOh Lord, stuck in Lodi againSlightly modified to suit the DraftJust about a night agoI set out on the roadSeekin' my ride and good beerLookin' out for those potholesThing got good things got greatI guess you will know the tuneOh Lord, rode to Lodi again
The Lodi ride brought back lots of old timers and some new fashions. Cannibal showed up with new garish sunglasses so large the rest of him looked dainty in comparison. Pres elected to join the fashion show, looking dapper in his Drafter green leggings. Skipper finally retreated from the woods, where he has been playing with his new Yeti, back on the road decked out in the new Hincapie Drafter kit. A bonus feature of this year's kit is the calf slimming feature. I barely recognized Skipper as I drafted behind his nearly invisible calves, the same ones that offered protection form the wind only a few weeks back. I thought I had specified "butt slimming" feature, but according to my mirror, that didn't manifest. Actually, my kankles aren't any slimmer either. This feature must only be available in men's kits. Arms finally took a break from celebrating the NCAA Championship to Draft. Are you kidding? Yes, I'm kidding. Before the trophy started collecting dust, she has been busy drafting the UW hockey team for next year. Despite few bike miles and a new baby, Coach Arms rocked (no surprise there). Thing 1 joined her hubby, Vintage, and easily claimed the power couple title, formerly held by Mega and KiloWatt. This is my shameless attempt to summon Team Watt back to Draft.
If you are interested in the calf slimming 2019 Hincapie Drafter kit (feature available only in mens), you can order here through May 26: Hincapie Drafter Store
The ride for next week is one of my favorites. I do recognize that I make this claim of favoritism nearly every week. It isn't my fault that we live in epic cycling territory. I simply cannot choose a single favorite. Vermont Church is a challenging 40 mile route. The cut off at Braun is the 30 mile No Brains all Brawn ride we did earlier in the season. Post-ride rehydration will commence at the Free House.
And if you are looking for an event this Sunday, check out: Wesby Syttende Mai Bicycle Tour
Lyrics by Hozier Take me to church I'll worship like a dog at the shrine of your lies I'll tell you my sins and you can sharpen your knife Offer me that deathless death Good God, let me give you my life
Drafter Version, with apologies to Hozier Take me to church I’ll climb Vermont like a dog and tear up my thighs I’ll tell you my watts cause Barlow cuts like a knife Offer me that drafter deal Good God, let me draft you for life
PDF map download: Vermont Church 40
As our group continues to grow, just a few gentle reminders:
- Blinkie lights should be blinking from the start of the ride
- No headphones, please- we need to hear approaching traffic
- Follow rules of the road WI DOT link
- "Persons riding bicycles upon a roadway may ride 2 abreast if such operation does not impede the normal and reasonable movement of traffic." We have the right to ride side by side, so long as traffic can freely pass. That said, it doesn't pay to be right if you aren't alive to enjoy it. Please call out "car back" and do your best to get into a single file line. Please stay in a "tight" side by side formation, not veering near the center line. Point out potholes.
- Pheasant Branch Road is more potholes than pavement, and is our main artery out of town. My feeling is that riding close to the shoulder on the descent between the Conservancy parking lots to allow a car to pass is a death wish. That stretch reminds me of how I descend a black diamond in CO..... I need ALL the available real-estate to be safe. This isn't the Tour de France- we aren't in a paceline holding our line at all costs. There simply isn't enough solid pavement to allow a car to pass with 3 feet of clearance (see rules above). As such, I tend to ride mid-lane and give myself plenty of room behind the rider in front of me. In short, follow the rules and practice good cycling etiquette and above all, use common sense.
Draft responsibly,
BrickO